In the future we'll all be gay
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
