If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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