someone get that fucking seahorse.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize