Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
