I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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