i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
