Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize