He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I died a long time ago.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
