My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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