I love black thongs
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I believe in your delicious
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
