How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
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his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
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She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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