Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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