Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
