I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
