Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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