There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
