margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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