My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
