I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
