She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
