I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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