I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
