Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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