Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
