So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
