remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I want to fling myself into the sun
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
