I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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