fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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