I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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