So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i think i have herpe
just one?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
