She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
