As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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