She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
