evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
