My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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