Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
