I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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