apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize