Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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