Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
