Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
