Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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