I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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