I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
