I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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