Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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