I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
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Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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