Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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