Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize