whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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