she woke up with a sticky ear
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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