you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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