did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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