At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
