BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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