I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No subtext here. People are naked.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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