And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
